Tuesday night and the biggest off-year election of my life and I was in small town USA. Radio reception sporadic. Went to the local bar and they did have two cable channels active – Dancing with the Stars and Wrestling. Oh, and cigarette smoke. Lots of smoke. I figured “this ain’t New York” or any other enlightened bastion where the nanny state tells you how to live. However, smoking really IS bad for you … So I left coughing only slightly.

Got into the car and headed north, back towards civilization, searching for a radio signal. Finally got within range. Now I had to decide where to stop to listen as I did not want to burn up a lot of gas learning of the results. 

“Hey Frank, did you listen to the election results?”
“Yeah, I started to and about 9:30, ran out of gas.”
“???”

I was looking for a gas station thinking that I could listen there in their lot. Found one. Got gas. Used restroom (an important consideration when you are living without electricity or toilets). Asked if I could sit in his parking lot to listen to the radio. He said “how long?”

I thought that was an odd question but I answered truthfully, “About one-half hour”. He said “No.”

?!?!?

(When I related the story to my wife, she said that I didn’t know how many times he had been robbed and that he might think that I was staking the place out. Which raised the rather obvious question in my very logical mind, “if I were staking someone out would I ask their permission?” Anyway…)

I continued towards the radio beacon and drove past a very large public park/ball field. I entered and drove until I was able to park (hide?) behind a tree, more or less invisible from the major road. I listened to the returns, occasionally glancing in the rear view mirror (one can do that easily when one is stationary) for a police car.

“Can I see your driver’s license?”
“Yes sir. What is the problem?”
“I’ve been watching you and you are just sitting here. What are you doing?”
“Listening to the radio.”
“Sure pal. Here, blow into this.”

Once I determined that the “conservative ascendency” had in fact ascended, I drove back to the farm.

Big day tomorrow – taking inventory of the larger pines on the property to determine if there are enough to build the cabin of our dreams or just a plain ol’ regular cabin.  At least it will be an improvement over the pole barn and its metal roof.

So, what exactly is a tree inventory? Well, we need trees at least 12″ in diameter. Remembering that diameter times pi equals the circumference, I measured trees that were at least 36″ in circumference. True, that would give a bit too small a tree, especially when you have to take off the bark before you can use the tree, but it was a starting point.

After looking at a few hundred trees and measuring many of them, one gets a pretty good idea of a 36″ circumference tree. Some of the trees were much bigger and I had to s t r e t c h to get my arms around them to pass the measuring tape from one hand to another.  So I was literally hugging some really large trees. I doubt that activity actually gave rise to the expression, “tree hugger” but one never knows.

I also discovered another “driveway” into the property that has much less of a slope. This may be useful for the big construction equipment that has to come into clear the building site, bring in the septic tank (1,000 gallons), concrete blocks, etc.

So, all in all, a pretty good couple of days. May not have enough trees to build a cabin much bigger than 30′ by 30′.  Lots and lots of smaller pine trees but few large ones. It might be cheaper to buy them cut by a logging company and delivered. Talk about taking “coals to Newcastle”. (If you don’t understand the reference, look up the town/area. It is in England.)

Conservatives winning big and I am hugging trees. What is the world coming to???

Your tree hugging writer,

Frank